This morning, on my way to work, I was faced with a dilemma. I'm not sure that I handled it very well, so your thoughts and input would be welcome so I can ensure that I do not behave like an ass again. Here goes:
I actually have a seat on the subway on the way to work. At a certain stop, a bunch of people board the train, and suddenly I realize that there is a very beautiful, very pregnant woman standing in front of me, as there are no seats left. I immediately offer her my seat, but she assures me that she doesn't need it, as she has only two stops before she gets off the train again. She is totally glowing and she is rock-solid on her feet in spite of the beach ball-like protrubence under her winter coat, so I stay where I am.
My gaze drifts over to the woman standing next to her, and ... oh shit, is she pregnant too? It's a LOT harder to tell with this second woman, as she definitely is carrying some extra weight over the stomach area, but it's not as obvious as with the first woman, and frankly it looks a little lumpy. I'm trying not to be obvious that I'm staring at her belly. In the end, I stick to my policy to not mention a woman's pregnancy (or assumed pregnancy) to her face unless it is:
a) confirmed beforehand by a third party;
b) the woman herself brings it up in conversation; or
c) the woman's water has broken and the baby is about to come out.
But in the end I'm not sure whether I did the right thing.
Thoughts?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A dilemma
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3 comments:
I Don't think you had a dilemma at all. Unless this woman was standing directly beside the other pregnant woman and heard you offer it to her, you attempted your good deed for the day.. I'm sure you didn't want to shout out "Are there any other pregnant, old, frail, disabled person on the train who wants to take my seat?" I'm so glad I know someone who has a such a conscious as you do!
You did the right thing. I almost made the mistake once of saying to this lady that worked with my brother - "hey, whens the big day?" I didn't know her well and thought she was pregnant - at least the profile indicated that. I later asked my brother and he told me she wasn't pregnant. Wow, close call. THREE women, maybe a fourth, are pregnant at work. I thought one of the three was, but made sure I asked one of the other three to confirm - yes, you never ever should assume in this case.
Good one!
S.
That is a tough one but I wouldn't worry. Maybe she was even flattered that you didn't think she was pregnant, haha.
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