On Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal

Tonight I have to recommend this article about what might actually happen between a john and a high-priced hooker, as many people have wondered what kind of sex act could possibly merit $3000-plus for a single encounter as in the Eliot Spitzer scandal. The answer, apparently, is not at all what you might think:

What high-end clients pay for may surprise you. For example, according to my ongoing interviews of several hundred sex workers, approximately 40 percent of trades in New York's sex economy fail to include a physical act beyond light petting or kissing. No intercourse, no oral stimulation, etc. That's one helluva conversation. But it's what many clients want. Flush with cash, these elite men routinely turn their prostitute into a second partner or spouse.

... [High-priced hooker "Melissa"] receives $10,000 per month, which usually translates into three meetings. "The last time I met him, I gave him a bath," she told me. "I told him he was the most sensitive man I'd ever met. I never tell him he's a piece of shit; I make him feel like superman." Melissa estimates that she has sex with him about once a month, but as often he will simply masturbate in front of her.

I'm not sure what to think about this, myself. Does this mean that some people are willing to jeopardize their families, career, reputation, finances, etc. just for someone to stroke their ego? Is being in the public eye or in the cutthroat business world so ego-eroding that the appeal of a compliant, obsequious woman is too great a temptation? Or are these people so successful primarily because of their ego-driven natures, and this is another symptom?

Contrary to many people, I don't think Spitzer is any less of a good person now than I did before. One of the biggest lessons for this is that I've had to learn in the past year and a half (over and over again, it seemed) is that some of the greatest, most talented people have the most destructive flaws. It doesn't excuse what they do - not by a long shot - but I can't deny the positive forces they can be as well.

(As an aside, these are always the most compelling people, because you can't trust them, ignore them, or totally discredit them - they are there goading you and making you pull out your hair and causing you to respect them all at the same time. They are Shakespearean.)

I wish Eliot Spitzer well. I hope he'll use this entire episode as a wake-up call and do what he has to do to make whatever amends he can to his family, and to examine and address what kind of emptiness there might be in his own life and heart for him to have done what he did. And I hope he somehow is able to pick up the pieces and resume some kind of public service.

Though it probably won't be via politics.