Woe, woe ... whoa!

I’ve been pretty emotional since leaving Seattle. On the flight from Vancouver to Toronto, I had to stop watching No Reservations because Catherine Zeta Jones’ sister was killed in a car crash and so she had to take care of her niece and didn’t even know how to comfort her and I thought of my niece and nephew and how hard it would be for them to lose either of their parents and how I would want to be there for them in any way possible and I started to tear up on the plane which was really embarrassing …

Then today, I just kept trying to think of a way I could have a “bi-coastal lifestyle” (even though Toronto isn’t exactly coastal [Lake Ontario doesn’t really count]) that would enable me to live half the time in Toronto and the other half in Seattle … or schemes that would convince Joe and Lisa to move to Ontario … and why neither of them would work. And then I would think about all the money and vacation days that I’d be using up this year to visit them and the babies and that I wouldn’t be able to go to Italy like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love and that even then I couldn’t just be there for Joe and Lisa when they need a babysitter and it all just sucked and I felt very sorry for myself and sad about the entire situation.

I remembered reading something about Mike Lipkin about the importance of what you focus on, and I knew I was focusing exquisitely on the wrong stuff but honestly didn’t know how to focus on anything else other than doing my job (which I did do, by the way … the interior melodrama was between work-related tasks).

And then … I read an e-mail that changed everything – because it changed my focus. The e-mail was a mass mailout from an airline that I use, and they were having a seat sale – 50% off! And the prices were the same every day of the week during the mid-December to mid-February time period! So it actually would be possible for me to fly out Friday and come back on Monday and use only 1 or 2 vacation days for this trip, rather than the regular 3 – 4 days my trips have been so far. And it would still be cheaper! Suddenly things really opened up! I mean, with 20 or so vacation days a year, I could have several trips to Seattle and still be able to visit Europe! And, at these rates, have the money to do so! Suddenly, my life went from limitations to possibilities.

How many possibilities have I missed because I was so focused on the limitations? I think I need to change the way that I think so that I determinedly, ruthlessly, search out the opportunities. I have faith that the Universe will provide them, if I am open to them.

If I get to go back to Seattle in February, that would be great. But the bigger gain right now is the shift in my own attitudes and perceptions. It feels powerful and empowering.