False choices

OK, so instead of looking through my old family album for a photo that will convince you that two-day-old Reece really, really looks like my brother, I've been catching up on other people's blogs. And one of my favourite blogs has the best rant today. I must share:

So, I recently read someone’s blog where she announced her decision to quit her job and be a stay-at-home mom, and someone in her comments stated how glad she was to hear the news, because she’d always wondered why people even have kids if they’re ‘just going to let someone else raise them’.

(I may not be quoting the commenter word for word, but I believe I am capturing the sentiment accurately.)

It’s not the first time I’ve encountered that particular point of view, although it’s been thankfully rare. I know we live in a world of diverse opinions and it’s okay to disagree and it’s all a rich tapestry blah blah blah acceptance-cakes but can someone explain to me just how the hell a person comes to see a working mother as someone who does not raise her own fucking children?

God, it makes me angry. It makes me angry that as parents we are so quick to judge one another’s choices. It makes me angry that someone out there believes I provide Riley with a sub-standard childhood because he goes to a dynamic, loving childcare environment for part of the week. It makes me wonder just how much crack someone has to smoke to believe that mothers and fathers who work outside the home somehow escape the responsibilities of parenting — the joys, the burdens, the whole rollercoaster.

I have to wonder how much - or whether - our society has changed when there is still this pressure on women to choose between family and career. Why are men not faced with the same societal pressures? You would never hear anyone congratulate a man for quitting his job to stay at home with his kids "rather than letting strangers raise them".

OK, too sleep deprived to continue my share in this rant. To be continued ...