Report from the Sleep Clinic

From notes written at the sleep clinic:

8:26 AM – Arrived at the clinic last night around 9:15 (45 minutes late, but what else is new??? I had stuff for work that had to get done before I took the whole day off today!) I was fully wired and harnessed with electrodes – to measure my brain activity (hopefully they found some), heartbeat, leg motion, eye motion, jaw clenching, and breathing. I got a lovely plastic tube shoved up my nose and hooked around my ears and chin like I was in a hospital’s critical care unit. But even more uncomfortable were the two bands I had to wear – one around my chest, just under my arms, and the other around my stomach, just under my ribcage. I had to ask three times for the chest band to be loosened. The technologist was concerned that the bands be tight enough to measure my lung and diaphragmatic breathing; if she hadn’t been so nice, I would have suspected her of being secretly sadistic. :->

The sleep clinic is a bit like a hotel or a dormitory for really boring university students (with some great posters and art prints! Why don't I have a job that sends me to symposia in Prague so I can get cool posters???). Definite institutional feel, but as comfy as they could probably make it. Everyone has his/her own room. Mine is called the “Henri de Toulouse Lautrec Room”, after the Impressionist artist whose print, “The Bed”, is hanging on the far wall.

When I came here last night, I was really tired (I’ve been burning the candle at both ends again as per usual). I thought I’d sleep like a rock, but no such luck (room too warm and too dry, bands too tight, etc.)

In the morning, I got to lose all the gear except the electrodes on my face and skull, kept in place with gel and tape, with colourful wires dangling from them. I’m a sight, and it’s my understanding that I’ll have to continue wearing them until 3:30 this afternoon.

This morning, when the tech came to set me free from some of the monitoring equipment, she did tell me matter-of-factly that when I slept on my back last night, I had “several small sleep apneas”. (So sleep mystery solved, not sure what more I will learn from the doctor in our appointment a month from now! LOL)

7:12 PM – Home now, after completing 4 daytime tests. Basically, I sat in the dark for 30 minutes at a time trying to stay awake while the electrodes on my head recorded goodness-knows-what. On a good day, this would be a challenge for me … today in particular was hard. However, if I were to fall asleep during the tests, there would be the potential for me to lose my driver’s license. I relied extensively on isometrics to keep me awake, as I was not allowed to consume caffeine or chocolate until after the final test. Almost as challenging was keeping myself occupied between tests, which were two hours apart. I didn’t have my laptop with me, and I was too tired to really get into the novels that I’d brought with me. A couple of times I left the clinic to get some food and bottled water. In spite of the fact that there are sleep clinics almost every day, it didn’t seem like everyone in the neighbourhood got the memo about nice girls wandering around with electrodes taped to their faces and skulls, with bright cables dangling from behind the gauzy tape. If I’d had more energy, I would have smiled brightly and waved to those who were staring, but instead I just ran back to the clinic as soon as I could. :->

Anyway, home now to a couple of lonely cats. Hope to be in bed by 8:00 tonight and to get some normal sleep!