It's too late for me ...

… but you can still save yourself!

1. Do NOT buy – or even sample – President’s Choice Chocolate Fudge Crackle Vanilla ice cream. This product should come with the following label: “WARNING, DANGER: This substance is irresistible and highly addictive. This product is not directed for anyone without amazing willpower.” It will call to you from your freezer. It is an expert manipulator. Trust the voice of experience here.
2. Do NOT go to the World’s Biggest Bookstore this weekend. They’re having an anniversary sale in which all books are 25% off. If you have one of those membership cards, you get 35% off. You will spend hundreds to save money. You will wander for hours through the store looking for just one more bargain or item to slash of the list of books that have been on your wish list. Your hands will chafe and blister as the basket of books you’re carrying becomes heavier and heavier. You will even consider inviting the flirty store manager home with you just so he will carry all your new books for you. Again, this is the voice of experience. You have been warned.