I was worried about myself for a moment there

After spending far too much time reading Alex's blog and preparing my assignment for my photography class, I turned my thoughts to what I might blog about tonight. Something quick, I told myself, so I can go to bed at a decent hour for once. So I looked in my "Drafts" folder of my e-mail account, where I store links, etc. so I can blog about them when I need more time. I looked at a couple of things that I had started, and then found this:

I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 months, I also read all of your archives. Ive never posted a comment.

Hmmm, I thought to myself, whose blog am I writing about here? I'm a bit fuzzy about this ...

I feel compelled to do so today. I too struggle with drinking.

Really? I struggle with drinking??????? I seriously wondered for a moment whether I had a split personality like in that episode of Magnum, P.I. where Deirdre (played by a then-unknown Sharon Stone) was utterly confused by what her evil "twin sister" was doing to her life - until she realized that her sister had been killed by the kidnappers (!) when they were children and her personality had been splintered by the trauma and that she in fact had been the very person who was doing these terrible things! (What? It could happen!!!)

As recently as last week, I’ve decided to stop. My husband drinks ...

Husband? Okaaaay, now I know I didn't write this. And it comes rushing back to me ... Remember a few days ago I posted about Linda's incredibly brave sharing of her drinking and driving experience as a cautionary tale to anyone who might be tempted to do the same? Well, if you didn't follow my advice back then, go back and read it - and read what other people had to say. It's incredible how one courageous step can inspire many people - strangers - to avoid making their own huge mistakes, or to address addictions, or to own up to their own mistakes. Like the commenter quoted here. I will let her finish her story:

... and I fear that It will be very difficult to live with him, and still love him, when I am fighting like hell to change my behaviour, change the old drunk me, into the new sober me, while I watch him to continue to drink. I fear for my marriage, because I have decided that my becomming sober is the most important thing in my life right now. I have not yet looked for outside help….I suspect I will at some point.

All of that being said, I’m sure you realize how lucky you are to have a husband that stood by you, and I assume helped you though what was probably one of the worst times of your life. You have given me inspiration to push forward with my plan to sober up… You beat the booze, you stood up for yourself against that bottle and took control of your life. And I will use you as a guide post, when my road takes unexpected turns.

It all makes me think I could use a little more courage in my life. Though I think you must concede that admitting I actually wondered if I had a split personality - who wrote about her drinking problem - might qualify as some kind of bravery. Kinda. Maybe. ;->


p.s. - This post is dedicated to my brother, who is likely the only one of my readers who has any chance of remembering the episode of Magnum, P.I. to which I referred tonight. :->