Love You Forever

After reading every single archive on Beth’s blog (which I thoroughly enjoyed, Beth, thank you), particularly her posts about lost friendships from bygone days, I finally caved in and signed up for Facebook.

Frankly, I have mixed feelings about this.

Mostly because I feel I am a very different person from the one my university pals or high school classmates may have known. For example, when I was in university, I was a very religious person. I actually considered myself to be a born-again Christian. But a couple of years after university, that was no longer the case. How or why doesn’t matter at this point, and is something I will usually refuse to discuss (hear that shot across the bow?). However, during my crisis of faith, which was one of the most painful excruciating times of my life, one of the worst things about it all (second only to struggling with whether I was actually going to hell or not) was the knowledge that our faith had been the foundation of the relationships I’d had with most of my university/church friends. I knew that things could never be the same. I truly grieved about this because they are amazing, wonderful people whom I still love to this day, and with whom I share numerous fond memories. And because the whole religion thing was so incredibly painful to me for several years, it all had to go. It was an amputation. Boy, was that hard.

It’s been almost ten years since then. Over time, as I’ve become more comfortable and confident with my choices, the mention of religion doesn’t freak me out as it used to.

But I can’t pretend that I haven’t changed, or that my dear friends and I have much in common any more.

So, if you happen upon this site via Facebook or some other means and count yourself as a Christian friend from our school days, know that I adore you. If we are somehow able to cobble together a friendship in the now that is based on what we have in common as human beings rather than religion, no one could be more thrilled than I would be. And if today we are too different (and/or you are too freaked out about my current belief system), know that I will always be thankful for the love, acceptance, and sense of belonging that you gave me when I desperately needed it. And I will always love you.