Funny, or jaw-droppingly arrogant/delusional? You decide ...
The reason some girls stay single - very funny! - melodymaker's posterous
Monday, August 31, 2009
The reason some girls stay single - very funny! - melodymaker's posterous
Sunday, August 30, 2009
YouTube - Edward Kennedy Memorial Service - Caroline Kennedy
Wonderful, moving tribute for a beloved uncle.
YouTube - Edward Kennedy Memorial Service - Caroline Kennedy
Thursday, August 27, 2009
chapters.indigo.ca: Luanne Ollivier's Review of Six Months In Sudan: A Young Doctor In A War-torn Village: James Maskalyk: Books
This is what I'm currently reading. Recommend.
chapters.indigo.ca: Luanne Ollivier's Review of Six Months In Sudan: A Young Doctor In A War-torn Village: James Maskalyk: Books
Monday, August 24, 2009
Norwegian UN diplomat slams Ban Ki-moon | FP Passport
Norwegian UN diplomat slams Ban Ki-moon | FP Passport: "Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon's fruitless visit to Burma in the beginning of July is indicative of a Secretary-General and an organization who are struggling to show leadership. In a time when the UN and the need for multilateral solutions to global crises are more needed than ever, Ban and the UN are conspicuous by their absence. During the last six months, where the follow-up to the many crises that left their imprint on the General Assembly during the fall should have brought the Secretary-General and the UN into play at full force, the opposite seems to have happened."
There's more ... click on the link.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A School Bus for Shamsia - NYTimes.com
A School Bus for Shamsia - NYTimes.com: "And so unfolded one of the mysteries not only of Shamsia but also of the Mirwais Mena School and perhaps all of Afghanistan. Women in Afghanistan are held to be lesser beings than men; they are accorded fewer rights and fewer opportunities. But build a school for girls, and the girls will come. They will face down death to come. And their illiterate parents will support them. Their illiterate parents will push them out the door."
A School Bus for Shamsia - NYTimes.com
A School Bus for Shamsia - NYTimes.com: "And so unfolded one of the mysteries not only of Shamsia [a young Afghan woman who was sprayed with battery acid for attending school] but also of the Mirwais Mena School and perhaps all of Afghanistan. Women in Afghanistan are held to be lesser beings than men; they are accorded fewer rights and fewer opportunities. But build a school for girls, and the girls will come. They will face down death to come. And their illiterate parents will support them. Their illiterate parents will push them out the door."
A Victim Treats His Mugger Right : NPR
What a great story!!!
A Victim Treats His Mugger Right : NPR: "'He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, 'Here you go,'' Diaz says.
As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, 'Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm.'
The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, 'like what's going on here?' Diaz says. 'He asked me, 'Why are you doing this?''
Diaz replied: 'If you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me ... hey, you're more than welcome."
Roger Ebert's Journal: Archives
Roger Ebert's Journal: Archives: "Having read through some 600 comments about universal health care, I now realize I took the wrong approach in my previous blog entry. I discussed the Obama health plan in political, literal, logical terms. Most of my readers replied in the same vein. The comments, as always, have been helpful, informative and for the most part civil. My mistake was writing from the pragmatic side. I should have followed my heart and gone with a more emotional approach. I believe universal health care is, quite simply, right.
It is a moral imperative. I cannot enjoy health coverage and turn to my neighbor and tell him he doesn't deserve it. A nation is a mutual undertaking. In a democracy, we set out together to do what we believe is good for the commonwealth. That means voluntarily subjecting ourselves to the rule of law, taxation, military service, the guaranteeing of rights to minorities, and so on. That is a cheap price to pay."
Great column. I hope you click on the link to read the whole thing. :)
Op-Ed Columnist - Food for the Soul - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - Food for the Soul - NYTimes.com: "One of my childhood memories is of placing a chicken egg in a goose nest when I was about 10 (my young scientist phase). That mother goose was thrilled when her eggs hatched, and maternal love is such that she never seemed to notice that one of her babies was a neckless midget.
As for the chick, she never doubted her goosiness. At night, our chickens would roost high up in the barn, while the geese would sleep on the floor, with their heads tucked under their wings. This chick slept with the goslings, and she tried mightily to stretch her neck under her wing. No doubt she had a permanent crick in her neck.
Then the fateful day came when the mother goose took her brood to the water for the first time. She jumped in, and the goslings leaped in after her. The chick stood on the bank, aghast."
Click on the link to read the rest of the story ... :->
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Professor Main Target of Assault on Twitter - NYTimes.com
Professor Main Target of Assault on Twitter - NYTimes.com: "The cyberattacks Thursday and Friday on Twitter and other popular Web services disrupted the lives of hundreds of millions of Internet users, but the principal target appeared to be one man: a 34-year-old economics professor from the republic of Georgia."
Friday, August 07, 2009
Class photo
DSC_3117
Originally uploaded by Noisypond.
Taken today with my camera, set up on a tripod. The man in the orange shirt is our beloved anatomy professor, Dr. T.
The Queen of England
Thanks to my friend Welah for this laugh:
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing! I'm frightfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
Monday, August 03, 2009
The Peekaboo Paradox - washingtonpost.com
The Peekaboo Paradox - washingtonpost.com
This is a fascinating portrait.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist - How to Lick a Slug - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - How to Lick a Slug - NYTimes.com
"A British study found that children could more easily identify Japanese cartoon characters like Pikachu, Metapod and Wigglytuff than they could native animals and plants, like otter, oak and beetle.
Mr. Louv calls this “nature deficit disorder,” and he links it to increases in depression, obesity and attention deficit disorder ...
One study of three generations of 9-year-olds found that by 1990 the radius from the house in which they were allowed to roam freely was only one-ninth as great as it had been in 1970."
Gotta share this
Tonight I went out with my classmates to celebrate two birthdays. It was a good time, but the funniest part of the evening happened on my way home sometime after midnight. I was sitting on the subway at Yonge & Eglinton, waiting for the train to take off. A pair of friends (a man and a woman) said their good-byes, and the man got in the subway car and sat down. However, the woman's subway (going in the opposite direction) had not yet arrived, so she hovered just outside the door of our train, and starting calling into the car after her friend in a saccharinely maternal voice: "I love you, John!" Then: "Don't pee in the subway like you normally do!" The poor guy looked embarrassed and amused at the same time.
It was so outrageous and clever that I grinned the rest of my way home.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Let's Make a Deal
For health reasons, I've had to start eating meat again. :( Is there anyone who's willing to forego ~ 5 servings of meat/week so it all balances out? Or are there five people who are willing to give up ONE serving of meat/week? I'll share some awesome veggie recipes with you! :)
Martin Luther King, Jr. - Wikiquote
Martin Luther King, Jr. - Wikiquote:
"When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows. Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."
I heard this quote today in class and it inspired me. I hope you enjoy it too. :)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
YouTube - JK Wedding Entrance Dance
YouTube - JK Wedding Entrance Dance
MUST watch. It will make you smile. :)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Dr. John Neustadt: A Vital Part of Healthcare Reform: Change How We Educate Our Doctors
Dr. John Neustadt: A Vital Part of Healthcare Reform: Change How We Educate Our Doctors: "I have the privilege of working with primary care docs all over the country. Many report to me with frustration that their education doesn't give them the tools they need to provide the highest possible care. While no one can dispute that these professionals work exceedingly hard, they are hampered by two major failings of conventional medical education philosophy: 1) it focuses on suppressing symptoms with drugs, which are considered the primary and only legitimate treatment modality; and 2) it doesn't teach how to treat the underlying causes of disease."
Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world - (song is Please don't go by Barcelona) on Vimeo
Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world on Vimeo
So awesome - especially with full screen.
Op-Ed Columnist - Whirling Dervish Drivers - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - Whirling Dervish Drivers - NYTimes.com: "Studies show that drivers who talk on cellphones are four times more likely to be in a crash and drive just as erratically as people with an 0.08 percent blood-alcohol level.
In one study cited by the highway safety agency, “drivers found it easier to drive drunk than to drive while using a phone, even when it was hands-free.”"
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Watching Whales Watching Us - NYTimes.com
Watching Whales Watching Us - NYTimes.com: "The sperm whale, for example, which has the largest brain on earth, weighing as much as 19 pounds, has been found to live in large, elaborately structured societal groups, or clans, that typically number in the tens of thousands and wander over many thousands of miles of ocean. The whales of a clan are not all related, but within each clan there are smaller, close-knit, matriarchal family units. Young whales are raised within an extended, multitiered network of doting female caregivers, including the mother, aunts and grandmothers, who help in the nurturing of babies and, researchers suspect, in teaching them patterns of movement, hunting techniques and communication skills. “It’s like they’re living in these massive, multicultural, undersea societies,” says Hal Whitehead, a marine biologist at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia and the world’s foremost expert on the sperm whale. “It’s sort of strange. Really the closest analogy we have for it would be ourselves.”"
It's a long article, but utterly, utterly magical.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
bgr spring 2008 -Food Rebellions.pdf (application/pdf Object)
Thought-provoking article, though a bit dated.
bgr spring 2008 -Food Rebellions.pdf (application/pdf Object)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Nalini Nadkarni on conserving the canopy | Video on TED.com
Nalini Nadkarni on conserving the canopy | Video on TED.com
This presentation just gets better and better. LOVE the way she's partnered with some very unlikely groups to make a difference. Inspiring.
YouTube - Brasseur & Eisler (CAN) - 1994 Canadian Pros, Pairs' Artistic Program
YouTube - Brasseur & Eisler (CAN) - 1994 Canadian Pros, Pairs' Artistic Program
A very different pair of figure skaters, VERY different routine, but quite entertaining, good for a laugh! :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Gordeeva & Grinkov, Vocalise
I hadn't seen this routine in years, but I've NEVER forgotten it. Breathtakingly beautiful.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Developed Countries Must Address Global Warming To Prevent Disease, Hunger In Developing World
Developed Countries Must Address Global Warming To Prevent Disease, Hunger In Developing World: "Pollution from the world's wealthiest countries is spreading disease and hunger in developing countries, according to a new Oxfam International report, which calls on developed countries to address global warming when G8 leaders meet in Italy, the Globe and Mail reports. The report, titled 'Suffering the Science: Climate Change, People and Poverty,' says, 'It is in the tropics where the bulk of humanity lives - many of them in poverty - that climate change is hitting now and hitting hardest' (Bailey, 7/6).
Shifting seasons are destroying harvests resulting in widespread hunger, according to the report, which warns that multiple climate effects could reverse 50 years of work to end poverty, Xinhua reports. The report, which 'combines the latest scientific observations on climate change, and evidence from the communities Oxfam works with in almost 100 countries around the world,' predicts that by 2020, maize yields will drop by 15 percent or more in much of sub-Saharan Africa and in most of India, Xinhua writes (Ooko, 7/6)."
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
The Female Orgasm
This is actually a very good and informative video. I'd encourage you (women AND men) to go ahead and watch it - even if just for future reference or "for a friend". :)
You can't know too much about the female orgasm! ;->
The Female Orgasm (Love & Dating: Sex Problems)
Shared via AddThis
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
United breaks guitars
Cynthia Beernink This is GENIUS. You gotta watch it, even if you don't like country music. I read about this video here.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Happy 5th of July
Happy 5th of July
Originally uploaded by MikeJonesPhoto.
Click on the photo to see the photographer's backstory to how he got this shot. Pretty cool.
The Best Kids’ Books Ever! - Nicholas D. Kristof Blog - NYTimes.com
The Best Kids’ Books Ever! - Nicholas D. Kristof Blog - NYTimes.com
For the parents* out there - this may help with the summer boredom. :)
(* Also for the teachers and those who simply enjoy children's literature for themselves.)
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Getting behind curtain of purdah no easy task - The Globe and Mail
Getting behind curtain of purdah no easy task - The Globe and Mail
Stephanie Nolen, again - one of my heroes.
Pakistan's female refugees live between freedom and fear - The Globe and Mail
Pakistan's female refugees live between freedom and fear - The Globe and Mail
Stephanie Nolen is an amazing journalist.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist - How Long Is Long Enough? - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - How Long Is Long Enough? - NYTimes.com: "The treatment of the young captive was so egregious that the decorated U.S. Army officer assigned to prosecute him — a man gung-ho to secure a conviction against a defendant he believed had committed a serious crime against the American military — ended up removing himself from the case and declaring that he could no longer “in good conscience” participate in the military commissions set up to try accused terrorists."
Dear God, when will this end? For this young man and for Omar Khadr?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Iranian youth practicing non-violence
This is where the rubber really hits the road. I am so humbled by the courage of the Iranians.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Video of Romancing the Road by Growing Bolder, at growingbolder.com
Video of Romancing the Road by Growing Bolder, at growingbolder.com
You'll want to click on this link to watch a pretty cool video of a woman with an amazing car.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan: "A reader recalls a similar phenomenon - in the violence after the assasination of Indira Gandhi - as captured by Amitav Ghosh in 'The Ghosts of Mrs. Gandhi':
'And then something happened that I have never completely understood. Nothing was said; there was no signal, nor was there any break in the rhythm of our chanting. But suddenly all women in our group - and the women made up more than half of the group's numbers - stepped out and surrounded the men; their saris and kameezes became thin, fluttering barrier, a wall around us. They turned to face the approaching men, challenging them, daring them to attack. The thugs took a few more steps toward us and then faltered, confused. A moment later, they were gone.'"
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan: "Today in Haft-e Tir, there were so many members of basij that they outnumbered the demonstrators 3 or 4 to 1. They were less focused on women. This must be related to the murder of poor Neda. And this was also why whenever they got hold of a man, women would surround them and shout don’t beat him, don’t beat and they would turn and anxiously say we didn’t beat him. It was astonishing."
Monday, June 22, 2009
ConsiderThisNews
Just for fun, here's an example of someone whose cranium appears to have solidly breached his anal sphincter: ConsiderThisNews
Note to self
To Do: Create some gloriously positive memory on a day like today with a gorgeous cloudless azure sky, so I'll stop being reminded of 9/11.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
She finally has a home: Harvard - Los Angeles Times
She finally has a home: Harvard - Los Angeles Times
What an incredible story of triumph over adversity.
Twitter ripped the veil off ‘the other’ – and we saw ourselves - Times Online
Twitter ripped the veil off ‘the other’ – and we saw ourselves - Times Online:
As I did so, it was impossible not to feel connected to the people on the streets, especially the younger generation, with their blogs and tweets and Facebook messages – all instantly familiar to westerners in a way that would have been unthinkable a decade or so ago. This new medium ripped the veil off “the other” and we began to see them as ourselves.
All the accumulated suspicion and fear and alienation from three decades of hostility between Iran and America seemed to slip away. Whatever happens, the ability of this new media to bring people together - to bring the entire world into this revolution on the streets of Iran - has already changed things dramatically.
Of course, the technology also helped to organise and sustain the resistance in ways unavailable during the 1979 Islamic revolution. Here is how Mohsen Makhmalbaf, film-maker and overseas spokesman for Mir Hossein Mousavi, the focal point of the protests, put it in an interview with Foreign Policy magazine: “In the [1979] revolution, there were young people in the streets who were not as modern as the people are today. And they were in the streets following the lead of a leader, a mullah - in those times Ayatollah Khomeini.
“Now the young people in the streets are more modern: they use SMS [text messages]; they use the internet. And they are not being actually led by anyone, but they are connected to each other.”
This was, as Clay Shirky, the internet guru, put it, the “big one”. The unprecedented eruption from below on the streets of Iran was met with an eruption of new media to cover it. Shirky elaborates: “This is the first revolution that has been catapulted onto a global stage and transformed by social media.
. . . and people throughout the world are not only listening but responding. They’re engaging with individual participants, they’re passing on their messages to their friends and they’re even providing detailed instructions to [allow] internet access that the authorities can’t immediately censor. That kind of participation is really extraordinary.”
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan: "And I've seen a lot. Just watch this pitched battle in the streets between a crowd and the riot police (via BBC Farsi). And watch it to the very end, as the police suddenly turn tail and run. Yes, you can hear the shouts 'Hurrah!' and I confess I found myself yelling it at my lap-top as well. Let us hope this is a microcosm of the whole thing. Faced with so many with such determination, the will of the regime will crumble."
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan: "I wrote a couple weeks back that something is happening in Iran. But it is not the only place where something is happening. The rejection of al Qaeda in Iraq and Afghanistan; the ground-up election of Obama in America; and now the rising up of Iranians for freedom and civility with their neighbors: these are the green shoots of recovery from 9/11 and its wake. Empowered by new information technology, chastened by the apocalyptic conflicts of the last few years, determined to shift course away from civilizational warfare, the people of many countries are grasping for a new order and a new peace. It will not be easy; and it will not be short. But it is the only path worth taking.
And these Iranians are now leading the rest of us."
Op-Ed Columnist - A Supreme Leader Loses His Aura as Iranians Flock to the Streets - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - A Supreme Leader Loses His Aura as Iranians Flock to the Streets - NYTimes.com:
TEHRAN — The Iranian police commander, in green uniform, walked up Komak Hospital Alley with arms raised and his small unit at his side. “I swear to God,” he shouted at the protesters facing him, “I have children, I have a wife, I don’t want to beat people. Please go home.”
...I don’t know where this uprising is leading. I do know some police units are wavering. That commander talking about his family was not alone. There were other policemen complaining about the unruly Basijis. Some security forces just stood and watched. “All together, all together, don’t be scared,” the crowd shouted.
I also know that Iran’s women stand in the vanguard. For days now, I’ve seen them urging less courageous men on. I’ve seen them get beaten and return to the fray. “Why are you sitting there?” one shouted at a couple of men perched on the sidewalk on Saturday. “Get up! Get up!”
Another green-eyed woman, Mahin, aged 52, staggered into an alley clutching her face and in tears. Then, against the urging of those around her, she limped back into the crowd moving west toward Freedom Square. Cries of “Death to the dictator!” and “We want liberty!” accompanied her.
There were people of all ages. I saw an old man on crutches, middle-aged office workers and bands of teenagers. Unlike the student revolts of 2003 and 1999, this movement is broad.
Iran Updates (VIDEO): Live-Blogging The Uprising
Iran Updates (VIDEO): Live-Blogging The Uprising:
Barack Obama, in an interview, takes my breath away with his clear reasoning and long view of things ...
SMITH: People in this country say you haven't said enough, that you haven't been forceful enough in your support for those people on the street -- to which you say?THE PRESIDENT: To which I say, the last thing that I want to do is to have the United States be a foil for those forces inside Iran who would love nothing better than to make this an argument about the United States. That's what they do. That's what we're already seeing. We shouldn't be playing into that. There should be no distractions from the fact that the Iranian people are seeking to let their voices be heard.
What we can do is bear witness and say to the world that the incredible demonstrations that we've seen is a testimony to I think what Dr. King called the 'arc of the moral universal.' It's long but it bends towards justice.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Featured Article - Most polluted ecosystems recoverable
Featured Article - Most polluted ecosystems recoverable: "Most polluted or damaged ecosystems worldwide can recover within a lifetime if societies commit to their cleanup or restoration, according to an analysis of 240 independent studies by researchers at the Yale School of Forestry & Environmental Studies."
Op-Ed Columnist - Tear Down This Cyberwall! - NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Columnist - Tear Down This Cyberwall! - NYTimes.com
One of my favourite journalists, Nicholas Kristof, writes about the protests in Iran being coordinated/communicated via Twitter and other social networks, and how software written to empower Chinese dissidents is being used by the Iranians to circumvent blocking ordered by their government. Cool.
La Vida Locavore:: Hunger Is a Global Warming Issue
La Vida Locavore:: Hunger Is a Global Warming Issue
If you care about people's health around the world, you need to be concerned about climate change. It's just that simple.
Annals of Medicine: The Cost Conundrum: Reporting & Essays: The New Yorker
Annals of Medicine: The Cost Conundrum: Reporting & Essays: The New Yorker
This is a very well-written and -considered article re. costs of medical care in the U.S. The author, a surgeon, takes time to build up the scenario of why some areas of the US are more expensive than others, but it's fascinating throughout, and REALLY interesting at page 6/7 ...When you look across the spectrum from Grand Junction to McAllen—and the almost threefold difference in the costs of care—you come to realize that we are witnessing a battle for the soul of American medicine. Somewhere in the United States at this moment, a patient with chest pain, or a tumor, or a cough is seeing a doctor. And the damning question we have to ask is whether the doctor is set up to meet the needs of the patient, first and foremost, or to maximize revenue.
I find it particularly interesting how the lower-cost areas actually seem to provide BETTER care, and the steps doctors in those areas have taken to ensure that this is the case.
Well worth reading.
Healthcare CEOs Shoot Themselves in the Foot | Mother Jones
Healthcare CEOs Shoot Themselves in the Foot | Mother Jones
No wonder a recent poll indicates 75% of Americans want a "public option" ...
Monday, June 15, 2009
A quote suitable for my day today
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
~Anatole France
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A therapeutic relationship in the fitting rooms
Note: Update below, at the end of this post.
She was in her late fifties, perhaps, and came into the fitting room area to try on some blouses. I encouraged her to come out and show them to me as she tried them on.
First blouse: short-sleeved semi-tailored lilac pinstripe. I suggested to her it was too big in the shoulders. She told me that she’d had breast surgery, and now her breasts were asymmetrical in size, shape, and even direction, so she needed the blouse to be loose to hide this fact. She was subtle about it, but I could tell she was gauging my reaction. Which was: Acceptance. I’m not afraid of your condition. Let’s deal with what we’ve got here. I will hold this as a safe space for you.
She went deeper: The blouse fit just fine around the middle, and would be too tight if she wore a smaller sized blouse. She’d gained some weight. Her confession was loaded with shame, frustration, self-anger. Her hands spread out as she explained her increased girth. Well, it sounds as though you’ve had a lot going on lately. She smiled with palpable relief. Yes, I certainly have.
So we discussed how the blouse was a good colour for her, and what bras might work to provide a better appearance of balance without causing her pain. She was very concerned about her nipples showing through her tops, and shared how she had always been offended when she’d seen other women who hadn’t dressed in a way to hide their nipples. Had their mothers not raised them properly? My mother's no longer here, so I have to tell myself I can't leave the house looking like that!
We talked about how the blouse could be tailored to take in the shoulders so it could better fit her. She had a job working with the public, so she wanted to look respectable and professional. She was playing around with the shoulder seam, and at one point I felt compelled to mention that she shouldn’t shorten the sleeves at all, as they would look a little odd if she did. Well, maybe they could, she started to say, and then she saw how shortening the sleeve would expose the loose skin on the back of her arms, and strenuously vowed that she would never wear something that would make them visible to the public. It’s normal, I said. She shared with me that when she was in school, she had a teacher who had loose skin around her arms, and as a young woman she couldn’t understand how her teacher – a strong, active woman – had let this happen to herself. And yet now here she was. I nodded and told her I understood, that I had started to stop myself whenever I found myself thinking, “Oh God, please don’t make me work with that person, or let THAT happen to me”, because sure enough …
Did you ever hear the joke about how to make God laugh? she asked. I hadn’t. Tell Him YOUR plans, she said.
She went back into the fitting room to try on another blouse. The next one, another extra large, was too big in every way, but the same one in a smaller size fit her beautifully. Her eyes had a little more sparkle now, and her posture was a little straighter. She asked me whether the seams that went over the breasts and down the sides looked improper or would draw too much attention to her chest. No, it gives you an hourglass shape, and generates the impression of symmetry. It looks wonderful on you. Sincerely. The colour is fantastic on you too.
Red’s my colour. A smile with new confidence.
Another blouse, another conundrum. This time, the neck was wide enough that some scarring above her breast was exposed. If I looked closely, I could see the scarring, but it mostly looked like some broken blood vessels. When they tell you that you need some tests, she said, you do everything they suggest. I never thought to ask whether they would leave a scar. I had more people look at my breasts in one month than in the rest of my life combined. Gets to the point you walk into a room and open up your shirt. No modesty left.
But it went further. I don’t want to be seen as showing off my scars or wearing a sign on my chest that will make people offended or feel uncomfortable. When I was going through all this my family didn’t want to talk about it. At all.
My heart wanted to break for her. I couldn’t imagine going through everything she had, and the subsequent painful insecurity and shame, and not having the support of her loved ones. They were probably just caught up in their own … Fear, she said, finishing my sentence. She knew. While I despaired of this woman’s judgment of herself (and other people), I marveled at her incredible resilience. A true survivor.
In the end, after kind words were exchanged, she left with three new blouses and new confidence. And, I hope, just a little more self-acceptance.
UPDATE: I wrote this in a hurry this morning, because it touched my heart. But I probably didn't put the emphasis where it should have been, which is how the situation allowed me to see from the outside (rather than listening to the "itty bitty shitty committee inside my head") how incredibly HARSH and JUDGMENTAL we can be to ourselves and other people. And what's the sense? Why do we hold ourselves to these ridiculous, meaningless standards of acceptable appearance/status/whatever when we're actually these amazingly strong and yet beautifully vulnerable beings?
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